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The Delightful Unlikability of James Harden

US Presswire

US Presswire

Once a bearded sage

Of mysterious foreign-borne stoicism

Our young cult leader has

Stepped out of the shadows of

Thunders and brilliant Gandalfian

Offensive wizardry where he

Casts spells with sneaky lefty Euro-steps and

Hypnotizing speed changes,

Harden-mind tricks that make referees blow whistles at will and

Earn one-way trips to free throw lines where points stack up like

Buttery biscuits or puffy pancakes – mouth-watering sides giving way to offensive platters of diverse delectability

Because … James Harden is a one-way man,

An offensive juggernaut with an

Allergy to knee-bending defense who crosses the half-court of identity from scorer to lazy defender and

Trades athletic fluidity for tin man rigidity, arthritic stiffness with

Ball-watching eyes becoming so distracted by the dazzling, bouncing, soaring orange globe that he

Forgets his responsibility, his commitments, his marker, his man who

Dashes to the hoop or drifts to the perimeter while James, the

Once likable hero of ingenuity, claps his hands together in frustration yet again because James’s man has

Scored with ease

He glares at Dwight, blames a teammate,

They hide behind beards and biceps,

Avoiding accountability while begging for bailouts

Oh, the Houston honeymoon is fading,

The truth is out, our former sixth man extraordinaire is a

Dislikable defenseless diva

  • kalieb briggs

    I was a student of ur wifes and she taught me how to write..n damn my friend this is good

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