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A List Of Things That Isaiah Thomas Is

USA Today Sports

USA Today Sports

Isaiah Thomas is a meteor, crashing through Earth’s atmosphere, refusing to erode like physics says he should. Isaiah Thomas is a pinball that breaks the pinball machine. Isaiah Thomas is a personification of density, but for, like, basketball skill. Isaiah Thomas is a beer on the house. Isaiah Thomas is the ending of ‘Pierrot Le Fou.’ Isaiah Thomas is a corgi who can outrace a Ferrari. Isaiah Thomas is you baking cookies and opening the oven, only to see a full spread of cakes and other desserts you never put there. Isaiah Thomas is running into an old friend, cutting through the jilted re-feeling out period and going straight into the part where you share laughs and a pizza. Isaiah Thomas is tacos with pickled carrots on top.

Isaiah Thomas is you replacing your worn-out garage door with a portal. Isaiah Thomas is seeing an animal in the wild. Isaiah Thomas is a sunscreen you never need to reapply. Isaiah Thomas is a boat in Deadliest Catch, caught in a storm and crabbing as if the crew just kinda ignored it and quelled that storm by sheer force of will. Isaiah Thomas is that baby at the end of ‘The Incredibles’. Isaiah Thomas is a $5 pair of jeans from the grocery store that have outlasted all your Levi’s. Isaiah Thomas is a really complicated secret handshake.

Isaiah Thomas is throwing rocks at the train. Isaiah Thomas is punk. Isaiah Thomas is the telekinetic skill of avoiding the shitty jellybeans. Isaiah Thomas is a regular tree planted in a redwood forest that decided, ‘fuck this, I’m going to the canopy’, and then did. Isaiah Thomas is all of us. Isaiah Thomas is flexing a muscle you never knew existed. Isaiah Thomas is a languid sunny day in December where you can wear jorts. Isaiah Thomas is a #PizzaGod. Isaiah Thomas is the clearest way to explain the philosophy of ‘WE JAM ECONO.’ Isaiah Thomas is not a perfect basketball player, not a great basketball player, but he doesn’t need to be to remind us how fun and defiant basketball can be.

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